Sometimes what we need most in life is the understanding that it is OK….Ok to be who you are, OK to exercise or not, OK to be highly educated or not, OK to go for a walk, look through a shop, just be…thats OK.
There are so many expectations on us, there are so many hills to climb and people to please and chores to do and work to be done that in the moments where we just want to be…US, we find it increasingly harder to set aside this time.
So I am reading and finding a new way to be OK and just be… I am learning what is good for my body so that it transfers to my mind and then in turn can flow into my life.
I have a habit of getting very excited about the possibilities of life and I go into it all head on and cant wait to see where it takes me, only to fizzle out down the track because my mind creates road blocks, either I tell myself I am not smart enough or I tell myself I am fine the way I am, why do I need to eat healthy and exercise, after all people should like me for who I am…right? Well the problem with that thinking is, it only hurts me in the end, I am the one that doesn’t finish what I start and I am the one that has to live in a fat, unfit shell with a mind that is trying to make it OK.
Reality for me and me alone is that I have to do whatever I have to do to make myself ok. I have to be able to look after myself because there isn’t anyone else on my path and living my life.
ITs funny, my husband spends a lot of time on the couch when he is in Warwick and he justifies this with 1. Nothing else to do 2. I worked hard all week or 3. I don’t feel great.
That couch has more hours of his body wear than anyone else in the house and I often sit and think about the time he spends there, it frustrates me, it makes me cranky because…A part of me wants to be free to do that too. A big part of me would like to lie on the couch all day for days on end and just be a sloth, but a sloth with no guilty thoughts running through my head. You see because my brain will not shut off I have a constant dialogue running, the day is an endless possibility to get things done before bedtime comes around again. There is washing, ironing, spots on walls, vacuuming, gardening, mowing, cleaning of all kinds, cars to wash, dogs to be walked, going to the gym or swimming, practicing the clarinet, coloring, crafts, journaling…cooking, the list is literally endless. My mind works in such a way that I need to achieve as much as possible in the day to reward myself when I get home, with the couch!
Smile and Breath Deep Everyone
Live your truth xx